scream and scew it

I'm happy. I'm so not happy.

My GOD knows sometimes life sucks like this. When one trying to forge forward, others would be pulling you backwards.. I thought I'm almost there, to seek for a better life. My mood has gone down to the lowest point when I picked that call. Medical check up has got a problem. Totally speechless and expressionless. Because there's no point I'd pass all those interviews but not the medical check up. I started wondering what IF I fail the second time? I still remember during the first interview, Miss Lim questioned me about this, 'What IF you can't get the sponsorship from SunMed?'. I answer 'I will find others to sponsor me then' Thinking back now, IF I really can't get it, I'll pay for the whole course (I prefer this rather than sponsorship) / find others to sponsor? / back to Malacca and study business. *slap self* I'm fearful. Sponsorship is not as good as you think..

I'm strong and weak at the same time :I